ROYBOY are a mystery rap collective from Sydney who have chosen to keep their identities secret. They won a Triple J Unearthed competition last year and have since dropped a handful of songs that combine electronic beats, R’n’B vocals, distorted raps and rock loops in a self-described “crock pot”. Their latest song is called Ramen Bowl, and just mixing different musical elements wasn’t enough for ROYBOY – they had to mix noodles and stock too, so they collaborated with Rara Ramen in Sydney to create their own bowl of tonkotsu.

ROYBOY’s identities are still a mystery to me, but Rara sent me a couple of Rara x ROYBOY Royale Tonkotsu kits to try out. Inside the box was a big sack of milky white soup (tonkotsu is made by boiling pork bones until they release their collagen, which gives the soup a silky texture), two little containers of spice (one is chilli oil, the other chilli powder) and a plastic TV dinner tray which sections off all the other components: noodles, chashu, egg, corn, shallots and a dollop of spicy pork mince.

I boiled some water and submerged the soup sack inside it. Then I heated up a pan and threw in the thick slab of pork chashu. As it sizzled, I nestled the spicy pork mince next to the chashu so that it could heat up and absorb some of the slowly melting fat. Once the soup was adequately warmed, I removed the sack and threw the noodles in the boiling water for a quick bath.

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Most other ramen kits I’ve made required me to cook the noodles for at least five minutes, but Rara’s only need 20 seconds. Are they par-cooked? I drained the noodles, threw them in a bowl, poured the soup sack over the top and carefully placed all the other ingredients in my bowl. The chashu in particular looked excellent, and there was a beautiful spicy smell coming from the minced pork.

The tonkotsu soup on its own is pretty basic. But as I stirred through the holy trinity of chilli (oil, powder and minced pork) it complemented them very well. The spicy pork mince definitely added more Chinese flavours than you’d usually find in a bowl of ramen, but it worked, providing a good kick without overshadowing the star of the bowl: the thick slab of chashu, cooked over coal in the Rara kitchen and brought back to life in mine. Cooking the chashu in a dry pan meant that it developed a nice caramelised layer, and the tender pork started to fall apart in the soup, allowing me to get big chunks of it with each bite.

The only thing that let the soup down were the noodles, which were very soft – somehow completely overcooked from just 20 seconds in the water. There was no chew in them at all, which was disappointing from a restaurant which so proudly boasts its handmade noodles in all its menu descriptions.

Soggy noodles aside, there was plenty to love about Rara’s ROYBOY ramen bowl collaboration. Being able to assemble a magical bowl of ingredients that I’m absolutely far too lazy to cook from scratch myself is one of the best feelings I’ve had during lockdown, and the combo of spicy pork mince and tonkotsu soup is inspired.

For dessert, I listened to ROYBOY’s new single Ramen Bowl: two minutes and 14 seconds of trap with a hook that sounds like a genuine ramen-restaurant jingle – if any of them had the budget to advertise their soups on prime-time television.

There’s a Neptunes-like quality to the production and repetitive singsong chorus. The lyrics’ nonstop allusions to cooking make it a fun companion piece to the 2018 Migos single Stir Fry, produced by The Neptunes’ Pharrell Williams. There’s definitely an influence there, and there are few better influences for any rap producers than The Neptunes (especially when it comes to brand alignment – and ROYBOY’s Ramen Bowl is almost as catchy as The Neptunes’ Nike commercial).

It’s not until the eighth time I hear the lyrics “spicy hot ramen bowl” that I realise they’re talking about the same spicy hot ramen bowl I just cooked in my kitchen. That epiphany released some weird endorphins I’d never experienced before, and I’d now like a rap group to release a song about every meal I eat for the rest of the year.

If any of them are reading this, I’m about to have a tempeh and egg rice bowl for lunch and an eggplant lasagne for dinner. Looking forward to hearing what they come up with.

You can order Rara x ROYBOY’s Royale Tonkotsu kits for $19.90 for pick-up only. You can also order a Rara x ROYBOY T-shirt for $38.

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