Am I Wrong For Loving Melbourne’s New Pop-Up Hello Kitty Cafe?

On a recent trip to Tokyo, I saw a building facade that was a two-storey Hello Kitty holding an apple-shaped door. I walked straight towards the glowing entrance, only to be met with a closed door. I had found the Sanrio Gift Gate shop too late and walked away heartbroken.

Now, redemption.

I first stumbled upon one of Hello Kitty’s friends Gudetama, an anthropomorphic egg yolk with a lethargic attitude (and a voluptuous butt), on Tumblr when I was 14. He was my gateway drug. From there I discovered a whole new world of cute to explore and I haven’t looked back since. But I did do a double take as I passed a big, bright-pink Hello Kitty bus on its way to collect shoppers and staff as I was on my way to the Hello Kitty cafe launch last week.

While it sparked joy, it also prompted a jolt of nervousness as I thought, “What am I getting into?”

The entrance revealed a nine-metre, punk-rockish Hello Kitty sculpture by Australian graffiti artist Sofles, tagged with giant white letters spelling out “Hello Kitty” on the front and “Dream Big” on the back. This is one of a few local touches that differentiate this cafe from its counterparts in Osaka, Los Angeles, Toronto and Vegas.

While munching on a pink sandwich with strawberries and cream, I reflected on my love for Hello Kitty. Here are six thoughts I had at Melbourne’s Hello Kitty Cafe pop-up, which is sticking around until December.

1. Why does this exist?
It’s fun to collect things and buy yourself little treats. Gen Z collects shiny-bummed Sonny Angel figurines. Some millennials will still buy anything if it’s got a handlebar moustache on it. Like any good full-time employee, I express myself through my socks, many of which have Hello Kitty and her vigilante friend Kuromi on them.

The cafe, which opened just in time for school holidays, is geared towards kids, sure. But there’s no question it’s also aimed at those of us who want to feel like kids again, with limited-edition $90 hoodies and $48 drink bottles on offer.

2. Wait, is the food actually good?
Themed cafes don’t have a great track record in the flavour department. But Wong, whose family operated a fishmonger at Chadstone over 30 years ago, and who has been involved with food at the shopping centre for years, has high standards.

Here, gold and pink towers hold pink-chocolate-dipped strawberries, spring onion and chicken sandwiches, a Japanese strawberry sando, chocolate cookies with Hello Kitty’s face on them, and apple pies, of course.

“I searched everywhere trying to find a supplier to make apple pie but I could never find one that I’m happy with,” Wong tells me. “So in the end, we have to make our own. Oh my god, it’s so labour intensive, I never want to do it again.”

The strawberry sando-inspired cake shaped like Hello Kitty looks like it would make your teeth ache, but it’s surprisingly well balanced. I’ve paid more for iced strawberry matcha lattes that aren’t as good as the ones here. The jelly … is just jelly.

3. How does Mama make her apple pies?
I had to research this one. After all, there must be some kind of special trick to making Hello Kitty’s favourite food. It turns out Mama’s apple pie is made with apple, sugar, love and care. Heartwarming, right?

4. Isn’t it weird that she’s not a cat?
For those not across Hello Kitty lore, the character created by Yuko Shimizu in 1974 is officially named Kitty White. Most surprising for the uninitiated, Hello Kitty is not a cat (though she has a pet cat named Charmmy Kitty). She’s a human third-grade student who lives in suburban London with her parents and twin sister Mimmy. Her popularity grew alongside the rise of Japan’s punk-spirited kawaii subculture in the 1980s, where exaggerated cuteness was the order of the day.

Weirder still, Sanrio reminds people of this fact regularly. The news was received poorly by Katy Perry in 2014 and more recently, the Washington Post recently reported that fans, including me, feel like the brand is gaslighting us.

5 & 6. Am I too old for this? And am I wrong to love it?
Well, yes. But also no. If Hello Kitty can be in the third grade for 50 years, I can let my inner child have this one. The line going in is filled with more adults than kids, and one lady even chucked a sickie to be here. “I just know it’s worth it,” she told me.

“I love pink. I love blue. I love red. I love Hello Kitty,” I heard a child tell her mother as I was leaving the cafe. Same, girl. Same.